Lonely Widow Seeks Con Artist

I was excited to have one of my first spam emails in my inbox today. I’m going to be a millionaire!

—–Original Message—– From: Richard Duke
Sent: Monday, July 07, 2014 3:08 AM Subject: MY PARTNERSHIP REQUEST

BARRISTER RICHARD DUKE (Esq.)
TELEPHONE: +44-708-7694-328

Dear my worthy fellow,
I am Mr. Richard Duke, a Legal practitioner based in London, United Kingdom and the personal Attorney to Late Mr. Roland Lake who was formerly a private investor/ realtor with the Frank Howard Allen Realtors before his death, hereinafter shall be referred to as my client. Many years ago, my client and his wife along with their two children were among victims of Boeing 737 Airline crash that claim the lives of all occupants.

Since then, I have made several enquiries from the embassy to locate his next of kin or any of his extended relatives, but all to no avail. My client made a deposit in a Bank at London valued presently at US$10,500,000.00 (Ten Million and Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) and the bank has issued me an official notification to appoint the next of kin or beneficiary who will benefit this funds, otherwise the account will be confiscated within the next fifteen(15) working days.

Since I have been unsuccessful to locate any of my late client’s relatives, I seek your consent to permit me present you as the next of kin/ beneficiary of my late client’s estate so that the proceeds of this account would be transferred to you in a smmoth and legitimate means.

Already, I have set out modalities for achieving my aim of appointing you as the bonafide next of kin as well transfer the money out of United Kingdom, for us to share the money in the ratio of 50% for me and 40% to you. We shall collectively donate the remaining balance of 10% to Haiti Relief Organizations.

It is my intention to achieve this transfer in a legitimate way, all I required from you is your honest Co-operation, confidentiality and trust to enable us see this transaction through. This is a very legal business that I am 100% sure of its success and is absolutely risk free.

Kindly signify your willingness to assist by sending me an email for further procedures relating to this transaction. The email shall include the below information:

1. Your full name
2. Your telephone and fax numbers.
3. Your Full address.
4. Your age and occupation.

Once I receive your positive response, I will then furnish you with more details on how we shall proceed with the claim.
I look forward to receiving your prompt response.

Yours Sincerely,
Barr. Richard Duke (Esq

From: ingrid@pussyhasfurballs.com
Date: 13 July 2014 3:52:29 pm AEST
To: Richard Duke
Subject: Re: MY PARTNERSHIP REQUEST

Dearest Duke

I remember old Rollie and his beautiful wife quite fondly and of course I was devastated to hear of their untimely death in that aircraft, as they were making their way to the Peruvian Knitting Championships. I remember like it was only yesterday, attending their spring polo events in the lush English countryside – oh how we laughed when our dear friend Lord Groperton III became elegantly drunk and tried to propose to the ice statue of a Beagle before alcoholically swooning into the caviar.

Now, all these years later, you send me this proposal. Having never been introduced to you, I would not have expected this tender request for my hand in marriage, but your offer of a monetary wedding gift pleases me as my finances are looking quite insecure after my late husband squandered all of our money by buying a diamond encrusted statue of Freddie Mercury and plots of land on Mercury. He had his plans for a spectacular theme park and I had my own plans. It is a shame about his mysterious death.

I won’t lie to you, dearest Duke, I will only be marrying you for your wealth however I’m sure we’ll grow quite affectionate towards each other. I was in a horrific jet ski accident in Africa celebrating my engagement to the heir of the inventor of sporks. They caught my evil twin sister and his mother’s sister’s brother’s next door neighbour’s uncle’s sister in law, who was also their niece, but the accident caused a rather large and unsightly scar on my face which I haven’t had the fortune to amend. I live a rather lonely life with my Chinchilla, Horace, as my only companion.

I am more than happy to have a 40% share, although I hope you will assist me in tending my shovel and lime business. Not straight away, of course, we must enjoy our honeymoon! But after everything financial is sorted out including wills and the like, then your assistance would be much appreciate. Those bags of lime can get quite heavy.

Your reply is eagerly waited, dearest Duke, I look forward towards the many blissful years we shall have.

Yours enamouredly

Lady Sheila Pussyfoot
100 Murderton Lane
KILLERSBY HAMPSHIRE A50021
Ph. +44 – 308 – 4830 – 99332

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9 thoughts on “Lonely Widow Seeks Con Artist

  1. This was hilarious. Actually just finished reading it out loud during our road trip from Georgia to Virginia. Thanks for the laughs. We too have encountered these scams when trying to sell stuff on ebay. Some of the apparent buyers really try to get your personal info through some oddball stories. We always mess with them too. Never to hear from them again.

    Like

  2. This is amazing! I was reeeeeally close to getting scammed when I was 18 and looking for my first apartment. I thought the nice missionary couple who lived in Africa and owned a home in Laguna Beach would be the perfect landlords…..

    Like

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