Warning: This might be a soppy, sentimental post. If your gag reflexes are quick to work, then I suggest going somewhere else. Go to youtube, block all the cat videos and watch people doing brave, stupid stuff… things that I can’t think of at the moment. I’m sick, on antibiotics and feeling sappy.
This is about my best friend and what she has taught me over the years.
We met when we were fifteen, before I was kicked out of home. We walked home after school one day and bonded over discussions about bras and god knows what else.
Our friendship hasn’t been perfect. There have been fights, of course. I haven’t been the best best friend, when I was a teenager I probably wasn’t the most reliable friend either.
She’s stubborn and selfish and can be insensitive and thoughtless. She has the knack of turning everything back to herself, as though it’s always about her. She makes stupid decisions. She makes stupid decisions even though I’ve given her great, insightful advice and most of the time I end up being right. She doesn’t listen. She’s impatient. She has to always be right. Everything has to go her way. She’s a control freak, a neat freak, she has to always be in your personal space.
She’s human. That’s not a fault. Because despite all of those things and because all of those things, she’s still her.
All those faults? I’d be lying if I said they didn’t irritate me, at times, but they make up who she is. Can they really be classed as faults? Because she’s also thoughtful, sweet, kind, insanely funny, daggy, loyal, intelligent, interesting, curious, honest, fun, understanding and a kindred spirit.
After we fight, we talk and laugh. We discuss why we’ve been fighting, what’s irritated us, we communicate a lot. We tease each other and make fun of ourselves. When she lived with me for a few months, I remember hating that I didn’t have personal space. But when she was gone, I missed her and the chaos she brought with her.
We can go without seeing each other for months and years, but we still pick up where we left off as if there wasn’t time in between. We are too much alike.
She’s taught me two things: to love unconditionally (and to know what loving unconditionally is) and that friendships are just like relationships. They’re hard work if you want them to last, and they only survive with communication, effort, trust and love.
No one is perfect. I’ve learnt that unconditional love is knowing the less desirable qualities and accepting them as they don’t make up the entire person. You’re not going to find some one who is perfect – in either a relationship or a friendship.
This friendship has grown as we have aged: it’s seen religion change, child birth, marriage, jobs, city change and country change. It’s seen life changing events where either one or both of us have felt like we were being left behind. But we weren’t. We changed with it. Because if we don’t change to adapt to new experiences and lives, then we lose what we had, which means losing a great friendship.
My best friend is the one person who I can tell everything to. I can tell her anything ugly, disgusting or strange and she wouldn’t judge me. She would help me in a split second if I asked.
I trust her whole-heartedly. Spell check tells me that’s not a word, but is now.
There’s no bitchiness. There’s no backstabbing. It’s a mutual friendship, where both of us are pleased to be friends, no bullshit wanted or needed.
I believe that soul mates come in all kinds of people, platonic and romantic. She is my soul mate, my kindred spirit.
I miss her a lot and I appreciate her a lot. It’s probably something I haven’t said to her before, but I do appreciate her. For being accepting and kind and understanding.
But most of all, for being her.