The Mafia Boss’s Business Deal

Stereotypes? What stereotypes? Really bad Italian accent… Check! The next instalment of scammer emails is right here.

From: Mr. Timothy Jones
Sent: ‎Tuesday‎, ‎12‎ ‎August‎ ‎2014 ‎6‎:‎50‎ ‎AM

PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL

Attn: Friend.

I am the Chief Financial Officer of, Falkland oil and Gas marketing company, and by the virtue, as the Chief Financial Officer. I got your contact address from an associate working with the London export promotional council and decided to propose this business am seeking your assistance in remittance of, 15, 000, 000, 00 British Pounds, to your account for private investment purpose, hence my request for your assistance.

SOURCE OF THE FUND:
The fund to be transferred into your account accrued from an over-invoiced contract amount awarded for servicing of our depot and valves for storage of product all over our branches here in London. The contract which was originally valued for, 127, 000, 000,00. British pounds, was manipulated to read, 142, 000, 000, 00.British pounds, the extra, 15, 000, 000, 00. British pound, is what i want to transfer to your account, the contractors has been paid all their contract bills remaining this 15, 000, 000, 00.British pounds

DISBURSEMENT:
I have resolved that you take 30% of the total amount for your assistance because it is impossible for me to claim the over invoiced amount here in London without your assistance. In addition 10% has been mapped out for any miscellaneous expenses incurred by me and you during this business.

SECURITY:
All modalities to effect the payment and subsequent transfer of this money has been worked out, so this transaction is 100% risk free, though you are required to treat with strictest confidence, on my acceptance please send to me your personal details and phone number for speedy correspondence.

I am looking forward to doing business with you. Your prompt reply will be highly appreciated.

Yours Faithfully,

Mr. Timothy Jones
Chief Financial Officer,
Falkland Oil and Gas Limited

From: ingrid@pussyhasfurballs.com
Sent: Thursday, 14 August 2014 7:50 PM
To: fmf_minnister@yahoo.co.jp

Mr Baker,

I am Vincenzo Burlesconi. I got your email today and find it very interesting. I says to Tommy Gun this is interesting, Tommy, 15,000,000,000,00 is a lot of money it can help fund our …certain businesses and Tommy says Boss, you’d be mad not to take it but remember Salvatore Cold Heart Rossini? He got that deal with those art dealers and two days later, he was in the slammer. Yeah Tommy, I says, but we got those dealers. We got them good. Salvatore Cold Heart Rossini was stupid, we’re not stupid Tommy, you saying we’re stupid? No Boss! He says, we’re smarter than Rossini. If he talks, I says, he’ll be swimming with the fishes.

That’s what we do to traitors, Mr Baker. They says one word and the next thing they know, they’re deep in the harbour attached to concrete. Their family, what do they know? Nothing. They tell their friends he’s gone away on a long, long trip. It’s better for everyone.

We also like to help Mr Baker. People come to us, we says to them – sure, we’ll help you, we’re good people. We like to help. You tell us what you need and we’ll do it, just for you. So we’ll help you, Mr Baker. We have ways of finding out who a person is, see? We know you and we know your mother and your father and your family and who we don’t know, we can find.

We got friends in our business. We got businesses in import and export, meat packing, couriers, restaurants, that coffee shop you like to go to, we got eyes everywhere. Let’s call them… associates.

Anyone who gets in our way? We has ways of getting rid of them…. People want to get in the way of your money, Mr Baker? Consider it sorted. They’re no longer a problem. We take 65% Mr Baker and consider it a deal.

Go to the pizzeria on Long Acre, London. You talk to our friend Bobby The Butcher Di Marco, you tells him Vinny Scar Face Burlesconi sent you. Bobby says to me, Vinny, you send me your friends. You tells them Bobby The Butcher Di Marco will take care of them. You got business? I sort it out for you. I says Bobby, I says, my sister married a good man.

You tell him you’re working for me and he does the rest, he has my details. He’s good man, Bobby. His brother, Luigi, not so good. You think it runs in the blood? Luigi is a bad apple, he’s not a real Di Marco. Bobby says Vinny, he says, Luigi’s a bastard. My half brother. He was dropped on his head as a baby, now he’s gone bad. He has gambling problem. He borrows mama’s money and loses it playing poker at Yoshida’s table and now he owes the Yoshida clan money! Vinny, he says, he kills Kanji Yoshida, blames it on Fonzo Pretty Boy Costello, now we’re at war with Yoshida. He crossed us and now he’s on the run, Mr Baker, you meet Luigi you tell me. He won’t be running for long.

You respect Bobby The Butcher Di Marco and he respects you, Mr Baker. One rule for him only, you look at his wife, my sister Lucia, lets just say you better hope you’re as lucky as Luigi.

You take care of our business, we take care of yours Mr Baker.

Vincenzo Scar Face Burlesconi